From the category archives:

Diagnosis

Finally – First Meeting with the Surgical Oncologist

July 5, 2009

Finally, I meet with Dr. Guru, my surgeon oncologist, after a two week wait. It seems like ten light years.
The waiting room is enormous, empty except for an elderly couple. I notice that they do not carry an over-sized,  brown x-ray envelope, like I do. The staff in the reception  is slow and overweight, not [...]

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Are My Cells Undifferentiated?

June 27, 2009

Three days have passed since my diagnosis. When office work slows down, I feel panicky and restless. I debate whether to leave the office, but instead I turn to Google and type in “ductal invasive carcinoma” and “undifferentiated cells.”
It turns out to be extremely bad news.
Undifferentiated cells are abnormal looking cells that have changed from [...]

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My First–And Last–Visit with Dr. Morte, Part II

June 26, 2009

“What are undifferentiated cells?” I ask my new gynecologist, Dr. Morte, as he reluctantly stumbles through my pathology report.
Undifferentiated cells sound pretty good to me. If cancer cells are no different from normal cells in my body, would that not be a good sign?
“You have to ask your oncologist. I don’t know the answer.” Dr. [...]

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My First–And Last–Visit with Dr. Morte, Part I

June 21, 2009

Doctor Morte, my new gynecologist, looks ascetic, with a largish, oval head on a thin neck stem. Thick accent. Is he Persian? I cannot place the accent, and it bothers me. I used to be good at identifying foreign accents and nationalities.
He sits on a chair across from the awful examination table with the steely [...]

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The Phone Call: You Have Cancer. Any Questions?

June 20, 2009

Friday afternoon, the day after my biopsy,  is one of those perfect summer days with a faint breeze chasing wispy white clouds across a blue sky, the kind of day when nothing bad is supposed to happen. I do not expect to hear about my biopsy. After all, when someone says 24-72 hours, it usually [...]

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The Biopsy Does Not Look Promising

June 18, 2009

Three people assist with the ultrasound biopsy in a dark, windowless room. How depressing to toil down there all day, glaring at a grainy screens, lathering up lumpy breasts with gel, trying to find what the patient does not want them to find: carcinoma. Suddenly I feel sorry for everyone in that room but me. [...]

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Ultrasound: The Only Way to Tell a Tumor from a Cyst

June 18, 2009

Remarkably, I am not in a funk when I show up at the Breast Care Center for the second time in less than two weeks for a diagnostic mammogram.
I delude myself. I want to believe the woman who said “It’s nothing to worry about. Just routine clarification. We need to make sure.”
But I deep down, [...]

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The Breast “Care” Center Missed the Hazelnut!

June 17, 2009

The Breast “Care” Center has been spiffed up since the year before. Nice wood, glass doors, new upholstery on the chairs. The machinery is the same though, cold and hard and a bit hurtful. After my 3 PM mammogram, I wait while they check my films. I nervously play with my blackberry, too restless to [...]

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The Pretty Useless Screening Mammogram

June 17, 2009

-If you have discovered a lump, says the scheduler at the Breast “Care” Center, then you cannot make an appointment.
-Uh?
-You need a diagnostic mammogram, and your doctor, not you need to schedule it. Otherwise the insurance company won’t pay.
-But I don’t have a doctor – yet, I only have a check up with a [...]

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