Onward to the Oncologist(s)

by Maggan

in Chemo Therapy,Diagnosis,Doctor's Appointment,Prognosis

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The Breast Consultants at Vanderbilt University confirm the previous findings in my pathology report. And Dr. Guru assures me that “he would not do a re-excision on his own wife.”  That does it for me. I cancel the appointment  with the second surgeon, the one set by my sister-in-law.

After all, the second surgeon has not been inside my boob. Dr Guru has.  And I find Dr. Guru’s statement that he would “not redo the surgery on his own wife”  more compelling than anything he could have told me. His wife was my anesthesiologist: attractive, funny, smart, a bit sassy. I believe that Dr. Guru has every reason to want her around.

For the first time in weeks, months really, I begin to relax. I don’t have to delay further treatments. I will have radiation for sure, but I can deal with that. No worries.

I still feel tremendously weary and anxious at the mere thought of chemo therapy though.  But Dr. Guru rolls that stone off  my heart with a few words: “Not much benefit for someone like you,”  he says, and shares with me a chart that shows only a one percent benefit of chemo therapy in my case.

-Why did you not say so right away? I ask him. You know I have been petrified.

-Well, I wanted it to be your decision, he says. Some women will opt for chemo even for a one percent benefit.

In a jiffy, life looks simple and uncomplicated.  No speed bumps ahead.  No re-excision. No chemo therapy. Now that I have dodged that scary chemo bullet, I promise myself to be a good person. I will be more patient, kinder, less judgmental. From this day on forward, I will be a new me to show the whole world my gratitude. Always.

I have an appointment, arranged by my sister-in-law, with Dr. Weary a much respected oncologist whose specialty, it seems, is to keep cancer patients alive long after others would have tossed in the towel. The day after, I have an appointment with another oncologist, at the Medical School, arranged by Dr. Guru’s office. I might as well hear two opinions, have two physicians confirm in unison that all is A-OK.

I am on cloud nine.

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