A Mysterious Hazelnut in My Boob

by Maggan

in Breast Cancer Awareness,Breast Self Examination,Denial

iStock_000001835039XSmall[1]“Do you perform regular breast examinations?”

This is what they always ask at my annual checkups.

“Yes,” I always answer with perfect honesty.

They never ask how often or how efficiently I do it.

The truth is, my “self-examinations” are a series of random pokes and hopeless squeezes. It all feels so lumpy and bumpy in there. How can anyone tell a fibroid from a foe?

Going to second base with yourself feels completely useless.  Besides, I have no family history of breast cancer, only longevity.

My biggest worry is to live beyond my expiration date, to end my days as an unwanted package in some nursing home.

Most women diagnosed with breast cancer after menopause, a whopping 85%, do not have a genetic link to their breast cancer. This is according to the web site Ask the Expert at  Johns Hopkins.

One evening, waiting for sleep, I “examine” my breasts. Or maybe I am adjusting the strap of my nightgown when my fingers suddenly stumble across a round, hard lump in my right breast.

An errant meatball? No, smaller and harder, more like a marble,  a bit uneven. A hazelnut?

Poke. Poke. Nothing remotely similar in my left breast. Nothing remotely similar anywhere else in my right breast either. I keep squeezing and poking both breasts, but find only that one “hazelnut” in the twelve-o’clock position.

Do I worry myself sick and pace the floor all night? Do I rush to turn on my computer to Google everything “lump?”

Do I wake up my husband and tell him I am scared I might have cancer?

No. Slowly I drift off to sleep, thinking: “I need this checked out. But it’s probably nothing.”

“It” will go away.

Women who discover a lump in their breast wait an average of six month before doing anything about it. The mental process is called denial.

Denial will get you nowhere. Actually, denial will get you somewhere, it will put you into Stage  IV if you don’t  take action.

Check this link from Mayo Clinic. It will tell you what to look for.



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